Terry Pratchett
- Lords and Ladies
There's a certain glint in her eye, generally possessed by those people who have found that they are more intelligent than most people around them, but who haven't yet learned that one of the most intelligent things they can do is prevent said people ever finding this out.
Terry Pratchett
- Small Gods
Fear is a strange soil. Mainly it grows obedience like corn, which grows in rows and makes weeding easy. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground.
Terry Pratchett
- Small Gods
Brutha hesitated. It dawned on him, very slowly, that demons and succubi didn't turn up looking like small old tortoises. There wouldn't be much point. Even Brother Nhumrod would have to agree that when it came to rampant eroticism, you could do a lot better than a one-eyed tortoise.
Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman
- Good Omens
English Burger Lords managed to take any American fast food virtues (the speed with which your food was delivered, for example) and carefully remove them; your food arrived after half an hour, at room temperature, and it was only because of the strip of warm lettuce between them that you could distinguish the burger from the bun. The Burger Lord pathfinder salesmen had been shot 25 minutes after setting foot in France.
Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman
- Good Omens
Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: "Learn, guys."
Terry Pratchett
- The Truth
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Terry Pratchett
- Hogfather
She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.
