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Text: Murdoc: I think if eBay had been invented at the time, he would have sold me online there and then. As it was I had to endure years of his booze-sodden venomous behavior before he shipped me off to school. Which I loathed just as equally. I'm often asked why my behaviour is so crooked now, but it's a lot clearer when you see what manky loins I sprung from. 'Man hands on misery to man', y'know. Each paragraph will be a test.

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