u/chitown12076
- How to Scare Dad
Luckily, my planning and hard work that night paid off though! Today, my father lives in a constant state of fear. I'm always watching him, how timid and nervous he is at all times. Whenever I pay him a visit, his complexion turns a pasty white, his body shivers like I used to, and he breaks into a cold sweat. I scared my father so good, you would think he saw a ghost.
u/Pansyk
- My Family
You see, I don't have any family left and I lost my few friends around that time. When it was time for my funeral, the only people who came were my boss and the family who killed me. The wife held her newborn daughter close to her chest. I hated my boss, and the cemetery was awfully lonely, so I followed the family home.
A Quick Death
- u/EvantheNerd83
As soon as the giant shoved him inside, everything went dark. Teeth came down. Hard. Sharper than knives. They easily sliced through his neck, separating his head. It was already over. A single jolt of pain, unimaginable pressure, and then... Nothing. Molly chewed, swallowed, and reached for another gingerbread man.
u/RepresentativeAide46
- Think like a magician!
Think of a plain stack of white papers. Anyone who examines it can tell you exactly what it is. But if you work at a typical office job and are avoiding a task, that doesn't matter. You can take a stack of printer paper, place whatever paper you're working on at the top, and tell your boss that he should assign the next task to your coworker because you're too busy.
u/hgtv_neighbor
- My High School Bully Called
As I said before, I do forgive you, but when I found Aaron's spirit in the darkness, he asked me for a favor. He had been my best friend, so I couldn't deny his wish. And so tonight, just as I have every night for the past month, I will say the words. I will say those words and Aaron will step into your son again, and he will rain hell upon all of you. And I sincerely hope you don't live near railroad tracks.
Anonymous
Failure can happen to anyone. Hard work and talent increase your chances at success, but nothing can guarantee it. It is time to destigmatize failure!
Carl Bernstein
The free market forces of competition that regulate price and impose natural quality standards are more adversely affected by people signing away their agency over their purchasing decisions than by the redistribution of funds.
The Drunken Philosopher
But on what do we base our belief that the world operates in a logical fashion and that contradictory statements cannot in fact be true? What if there is no objective truth at all? I need more wine.
Carl Bernstein
The problem with trickle-down economics isn't that it doesn't work. It does. The problem is that the rich get a flood and the poor get a trickle. It's not enough, and it's not fair.
Anonymous
My wife told me she lost her keys. I just don't understand how that's possible. I could never lose mine. I always keep them in the same place: on my keyboard.
Jay Harper
The man shrieks an audible shriek. His memento of the dismantlement of the chapels is a shamble. To the haughty skeptic, its authenticity is dismantled. The man shrieks in dismay.
Anonymous
We have more control over our abilities than we think. It takes hard work and perseverance, not natural talent. When we accept our limits, we create them.
Jay Harper
- A Wax Test
We extracted wax as a test. We created the test that was greatest. We were stressed; we crafted wax as we rested at the terrace. Wax waste cascaded fast.
Carl Bernstein
I rather regret inventing capitalism. I should have left well enough alone. It seemed necessary at the time, though, given the flaws in the existing economic system.
Sandra Eliana Díaz
- Parcial primer corte
There is nothing more lonely than to be surrounded by people and noise, their voices drowning out your own thoughts so that you don't even have yourself for company.
Anonymous
Stop unquestioningly believing the mainstream, default narrative. Stop being a sheep and throw away Occam's razor. Instead, unquestioningly accept my theory about how Earth is flat and the lizards want to microchip you.
Caroline Knapp
A love story. Yes: this is a love story. It's about passion, sensual pleasure, deep pulls, lust, fears, yearning hungers. It's about needs so strong they're crippling. It's about saying goodbye to something you can't fathom living without.
Tumblr (Paraphrase)
Are you aware that if a giraffe were to drink hot or cold coffee, the coffee would be lukewarm by the time it would reach the giraffe's stomach? No. Your lack of awareness indicates selfishness.
Anonymous
It could be worse? Thanks for adding anxiety about what else could go wrong to my sadness about how bad the situation is right now. Just because there are worse situations doesn't mean that this doesn't suck.
