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Hello my name is Barack Obama (President of United States) 1,000 years ago sorry I’m …

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John Mulaney - College
In high school people were like, "What are your top 3 colleges?" I was like, "Top 3 colleges? I thought I would be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the tail light by now."

John Mulaney - The Robot Test
The passwords that passed, you correctly guessed, but now it's time for the robot test! I've devised a question no robot could ever answer. Which one of these pictures does not have a stop sign in it?

John Mulaney - The Robot Tets
Ahhh, I smell a robot! Prove, prove, prove! Prove to me you're not a robot! Look at these curvy letters. Much curvier than most letters, wouldn't you say? No robot could ever read these. You look mortal, if ye be. You look and you type what you think you see! Is it an E or is it a 3? That's up to ye.