Annalise
Horses do kill more people than sharks, but not because they are more dangerous. The reason is simply that horses have very little opportunity to kill sharks.
You are now acutely aware of the sensation of your scalp, and that is giving you a nearly irresistible urge to touch it. However, you know what's at stake here, and you forge on.
Why does Taylor Swift sometimes feel like everybody is a sexy baby and she's a monster on the hill? Is it because of her height? Is it because of her age? Is it because she's actually a creep? Who knows?
A High School Student
I do not want to develop a mastery orientation. I am performance oriented because I truly do not want to master the material. I am not in school by choice. I hate school not because it's challenging, but because I oppose the very basis of it. When we acquire knowledge, we lose our innocence. Mankind is separate from the beasts not by good fortune, but by the curse of knowledge. If we could be free, like the creatures of the field, that would be a blessing.
Noom in 2023
Changing the way you eat starts with psychology. We've studied eating disorders for years, and we've finally come up with an app that can give you one. Join us in five years for the airborne version.
You don't actually need those harsh shampoos. You can use baby shampoo most of the time and use a gentle clarifying shampoo once or twice a month. Your hair will be clean and softer.
Anonymous
Finally, he admitted that he had no idea how to get down from an elephant. "Good," the master replied. "You don't get it from an elephant. You get it from a goose."
Anonymous
The day I realized Earth was doomed? When I saw that there was a political parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno" called "We Don't Talk About Sleepy Joe," but no mythology based parody called "We Don't Talk About Juno."
- Guys
"Guys" is gender neutral as a term of address, but it is not neutral in other contexts. "Hey, guys!" can be said to women, but "I was talking to the guys" cannot be said about women.
- Politics
If you live in the United States, you probably won't accomplish much by supporting a third party. So maybe you should pragmatically pick a major party to register for and vote for. But that's it. You don't have to support its every political position. You don't owe it your vote when the candidate goes against your core values. And you sure as heck don't owe it your heart.
Anonymous
You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs, but throwing eggs everywhere won't make an omelet. If you think it's necessary to use violence to fight for justice, so be it. But you'd better have a plan.
- Triggering Grammar Snobs
"I would like to thank my parents, Ayn Rand and God." That's a terrible sentence because it lacks an Oxford comma. But that doesn't make the Oxford comma any less optional. "I would like to thank my father, George Washington, and God." That's a terrible sentence with an Oxford comma.
- Misogyny on the Left
Many communist men believe that resources should be distributed equitably between all people, but they categorize women under "resources" rather than "people."
Nobody
Get off your high horse. And in the future, please ensure that your horse is sober before you mount it; it's really dangerous and irresponsible not to.
Unknown
- Brown Cow Joke
Two brown cows were in a field. One brown cow turned to the other brown cow and said "moo." The other brown cow said, "Hey, that's what I was going to say!"
- Trump's Hands
Trump assured Americans that his hands are not small and nothing else is small. But he has yet to provide measurements of either his hands or something else.
Frankie
Shut up, Leonard. You are old. And you deserve less because of your age. I don't actually believe that. I'm just trying to... and everybody here is a fart! A living fart from the butt of a lesser god! I'm better than this.
- Hippocracy
Hypocrisy isn't great, but if your actions aren't matching your ideals, it's better to just live with it than to erase the cognitive dissonance by throwing your morals away entirely.
- Pennies
Some people think pennies should be discontinued in the United States. The government can't just do that. The Canadian government doesn't mint pennies anymore. It doesn't make cents.
Jason Vimm
Statutory damages for copyright violations are absurd and defeat the purpose of copyright. Rather than protecting artists, it prevents them from producing art to begin with for fear of being sued for a coincidental similarity to existing works.
