"Thud" by Terry Pratchett
- Why Vimes Doesn't Play Chess
It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the kings lounged about doing nothing that always got to him; if only the pawns united, maybe talked the rooks round, the whole board could've been a republic in a dozen moves.
Bob's Burgers, S5E18
- Little Things
Lin, I gotta say, I learned some things about you today. Stuff I didn't know. Stuff I respect. Kind of. And I'm glad to say, after all these years, I'm still finding little surprises.
"Guards! Guards!" by Terry Pratchett
- The Dragon's Perspective
You have the effrontery to be squeamish. But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, you ape - we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.
"Eric" by Terry Pratchett
- Invaders
No enemies had ever taken Ankh-Morpork. Well technically they had, quite often; the city welcomed free-spending barbarian invaders, but somehow the puzzled raiders found, after a few days, that they didn't own their horses anymore, and within a couple of months they were just another minority group with its own graffiti and food shops.
"Jingo" by Terry Pratchett
- The Voice of the People
Odd thing, ain't it... you meet people one at a time, they seem decent, they got brains that work, and then they get together and you hear the voice of the people. And it snarls.
Terry Pratchett's "Men at Arms"
- Vimes' Boots Theory
A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet. This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socio-economic unfairness.
Terry Pratchett
- The Average Voter
What a place! What a situation! What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter?
Terry Pratchett
- Regarding Ankh-Morpork
Murder was in fact a fairly uncommon event in Ankh-Morpork, but there were a lot of suicides. Walking in the night-time alleyways of The Shades was suicide. Asking for a short in a dwarf bar was suicide. Saying 'Got rocks in your head?' to a troll was suicide. You could commit suicide very easily, if you weren't careful.
