True story: I was at Costco one day and all of a sudden, nature called. Yelled is more like it. So I high-tailed into the John and there's some sensitive guy changing his little boy's diaper on one of them baby ironin' boards, and don't you know, I slipped on pee-pee and broke two vertebrae which had to be fused together. I'm in constant pain, but by God I got me a $53,000 settlement.