- Made of Money
"I'm not made of money" is such a weird thing to say when someone asks you for money. If you were actually made of money, asking you for money would be akin to asking for a pound of flesh.
Anonymous
I support bombing Agrabah. Sure, it's fictional, but that only means that we can bomb 100% of it without using a single bomb. That's very efficient. Then we take the lamp.
Nick Jersey
I have always dreamed of being a professional musician. The only things standing in my way are my stage fright, my fear of travel, and my complete lack of musical talent.
Anonymous
Child leashes are great. They allow the child more freedom than a stroller does while also protecting from harm. 99% of parenting is preventing your children from killing themselves.
Unknown
There was a knock on the door. "Who is it?" she called out. "It's the blind man," a voice answered. "Can I come in?" Assuming that it didn't matter, she walked down the stairs and opened the door in her underwear. The man looked her up and down and said "Hi, I'm Ralph. I'm here to install your blinds."
Facebook Meme
- To The Person Who Identifies As Vaccinated
Oh, you identify as vaccinated? Thank you for confiding in me. I just want to make sure that you know that there is help out there. Medical technology has improved to the point where you can get an injection that will give you the vaccinated body to match your identity.
Fred
Fred opened the box of chocolate chip cookies. Each cookie contained only one chocolate chip. Oh well, he thought. They're not called chocolate chips cookies.
Pineapple on pizza is actually delicious. So is shredded cheddar cheese on vanilla ice cream. Peanut butter and pickles combine beautifully. Some people hate what they do not understand, but do not let them prevent you from experiencing the deliciousness of these combinations.
Anonymous
There's a lie in every belief, an end in every friendship, an if in every life. There is fun in every funeral, beg in every beginning, a demon in every demonstration.
Anonymous
- Nothing to Fear
There is nothing to fear except fear itself, including the fear of fear. Phobophobia is an endless spiral, and it is quite dangerous. It deserves your fear, yet your fear will only feed it.
- Love
Platonic love is still the purest form of love in existence. My wife says I'm her best friend, but I told her she can't be mine. I love her, but we're just spouses.
Verity Bandau
The fact that daughter does not rhyme with laughter is a travesty. The fact that daughter can rhyme with slaughter does not make up for it. Poems about granddaughters' manslaughter work excellently.
Rahav Layouro
- The Bakery Woman
But she was able to understand completely. She understood everything. Even though she was a very simple woman, she could understand what many others did not. There is greatness in simplicity.
