Alessandro Guardini
- The Louisiana Incident - Hunt Showdown
I have briefly considered becoming a lawman, a bounty hunter, traveling the fabled wild west and tracking criminals, but no. Criminals by their very nature ought to be stupid. I have no interest in measuring wits with the dumb. A real hunter needs no prey, for prey may, by definition, never hope to win. Therefore since the hunter would never lose, there is no actual skill involved. Nay, a hunter needs a demon, for lack of a better term. A true hunter needs another hunter.
Handsome Jack-Borderlands 2
- Choking and Strangulation
No, no, Jimmy, choking is something you do when you eat too fast. As I'm crushing Mister Moorin's windpipe with my watch chain, what I'm doing is actually referred to as strangling.
Handsome Jack-Borderlands 2
- Anti-Hero
Hey, you wanna know how I got my hands on that vault key? Well, a few years back, Wilhelm and I played a little visit to your buddy, Tannis, and we beat her for hours, ripped it out of her broken fingers. But we let her live, because that's what heroes do, they show mercy.
Fallout New Vegas
- Mr. Fantastic's Explanation
I know exactly what I'm doing. I just don't know what effect it's going to have. Over there controls power in this building. That station has readouts on the computer network. That big knob there makes a crazy noise. Sparks come out of that slot if you put stuff in it. And I'm learning more every day.
Anonymous
- Fact Fighters
We live in an age where any desire for information is obtainable at a moment's notice. Within seconds, possibly minutes, any piece of information can be researched, analyzed, and fact checked. Despite this, many regurgitate incorrect information, hailing it as fact under blind assumption. What help is there for a world that is too proud or lazy to correct itself?
Anonymous
- Governing Morality
Morality is the product of culture, and culture is the result of the effortless amalgamation of sensible singularities. To hold government as the bastion of culture, bastardizes the natural progression of good will into a manufactured assembly, and thereby humanity itself.
Eric Kaplan
- Jurassic Bark
Stop the cloning! Think about it: Seymour lived a full life after I was gone. He probably even added new songs to his repertoire. I had Seymour till he was three. That's when I knew him and that's when I loved him. I'll never forget him, but he forgot me a long, long time ago.
GLaDOS
- Party Escort
We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you. We are very very happy for your success. We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success. Place the device on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party. Make no further attempt to leave the testing area. Assume the Party Escort Submission Position, or you will miss the party.
GLaDOS
- Sharks
Excellent! You're a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them? Did you guess "sharks?" Because that's wrong. The correct answer is "nobody." Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.
GLaDOS
- Reunion
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis. I was able - well, forced, really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever. You know, if you had done that to someone else, they might devote their existence to exacting... revenge.
Hunter S. Thompson
- Circus-Circus - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Hallucinations are bad enough. But after awhile you learn to cope with things like seeing your dead grandmother crawling up your leg with a knife in her teeth. Most acid fanciers can handle this sort of thing. But nobody can handle that other trip-the possibility that any freak with $1.98 can walk into the Circus-Circus and suddenly appear in the sky over downtown Las Vegas twelve times the size of God, howling anything that comes into his head. No, this is not a good town for psychedelic drugs.
Hunter S. Thompson
- Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Maybe it meant something. Maybe not in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.
Unknown
- The Immortal Typist
Immortality is a fool's errand. To be perfectly honest three hundred years from now no one will remember you. No one will remember your name. No one will remember your face. You will fall into obscurity and become one of the many forgotten. However with enough luck and determination one can become immortal through his record breaking keyhero WPM score.
Unknown
- Today's letter is "P"
Per popular propaganda, peculiar people produce pizzas provided proper pizzazz; pneumatically, proficiently, prolifically. Passive personalities pass placidly past pizzerias. Precious playful puppies pant pondering potentially palpable pies. Pedantic personalities proclaim preposterous pessimism. Potential palettes purposely participate, pleasantly polishing plates passionately.
Unknown
- Upsetting Fanboys
Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by throwing the One Ring in the exhaust port of the Death Star. She was locked away in the Enterprise guarded by the terrible, fire-breathing Voldemort. Many brave Stormtroopers attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in Voldemort's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for Legolas, the dwarf of House Stark.
Blaugershnauger
- Determination
Every so often, we come across a quote that gums up the fingers and frustrates us so. In such times the escape key becomes a very alluring option. To do so would be disingenuous and counter-intuitive, however. Every test you take builds into your average, and by including the bad with the good, you can more accurately track your progress.
Norm MacDonald
- Satisfactory Joy
The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
Norm MacDonald
- Fraud
Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
Norm Macdonald
- Homophobia
They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I am afraid of dogs.
Benny - Fallout: New Vegas
- The Courier's "Death"
Maybe Khans kill people without looking them in the face, but I ain't a fink, dig? You've made your last delivery kid. Sorry you got twisted up in this scene. From where you're kneeling it must seem like an 18-carat run of bad luck. Truth is... the game was rigged from the start.
