Barney Stinson
- The Bro Code (Article 20)
A bro respects his Bros in the military because they've selflessly chosen to defend the nation, but more to the point, because they can kick his ass six ways to Sunday.
Barney Stinson
- The Bro Code (Article 73)
When a group of Bros are in a restaurant, each shall engage in the time-honored ritual of jockeying to pay the bill, regardless of affordability. When the group ultimately decides to divide the check, each Bro shall act upset rather than enormously relieved.
Barney Stinson
- The Bro Code (Article 105)
If a Bro is not invited to another Bro's wedding, he doesn't make a big deal out of it, even if, let's face it, he was kind of responsible for setting up the couple and had already picked out the perfect wedding gift and everything. It's cool. No big whoop.
Barney Stinson
- The Bro Code (Article 68)
If a Bro be on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own personal records, the missing of work, or, if necessary, generating a realistic fear that the end of the world is imminent.
Barney Stinson
- The Bro Code (Article 11)
A Bro may ask his Bro(s) to help him move, but only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large pieces of furniture. If the Bro has vastly underestimated either, his Bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are - in most cases, stuck in a doorway.
Barney Stinson
- What is a Bro?
A Bro is a person who would give you the shirt off his back when he doesn't want to wear it anymore. A Bro is a person who will bend over backwards to help you bend someone else over backwards. In short, a Bro is a lifelong companion you can trust will always be there for you, unless he's got something else going on.
Barney Stinson
- The Bro Code - Article 79
At a wedding, Bros shall reluctantly trudge out for the garter toss and feign interest for the benefit of the chicks present. Whichever Bro gets stuck with the garter shall lightheartedly pretend he's not horrified at the thought of being the next one to drop before scurrying to the bar for a very stiff drink or shots.
Barney Stinson
- The Bro Code - Article 66
If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, his Bros shall offer no more than a "that sucks, man" and copious quantities of beer. To eliminate the possibility of any awkward moments in the future, his Bros shall also refrain from any pejorative commentary - deserved or not - regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite backslide window has fully closed.
Barney Stinson
- The Bro Code - Article 61
If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro's anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.
Barney Stinson
- The Bro Code - Article 128
A Bro never wears two articles of clothing at the same time that bear the same school name, vacation destination, or sports team. Even in a laundry emergency, it's preferred that a Bro go out half-naked rather than violate this code. Half-naked from the waist up, naturally.
Barney Stinson
- The Bro Code - Article 126
In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity. This may include but is not limited to: the high five, the fist bump, or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.
Barney Stinson
- The Bro Code
Centuries from now, when a Bro applies the rudiments of the Bro Code to score a three-boobed future chick, the only thanks I'll need is the knowledge that I - in whatever small capacity - Bro'd him out. Though if he could figure out how to bring me back to life, that would be pretty awesome too.
Jim Carrol
- The Basketball Diaries
You're growing up, and the rain sort of remains on the branches of a tree that will someday rule the Earth, and it's good that there is rain. It clears the month of your sorry rainbow expressions, and it clears the streets of the silent armies, so we can dance.
Dan Brown
- The Lost Symbol
Angels and demons were identical - interchangeable archetypes - all a matter of polarity. The guardian angel who conquered your enemy in battle was perceived by your enemy as a demon destroyer.
Jeff Kinney - Diary of a Wimpy Kid
- The Cheese Touch
Then one day, this kid named Darren Walsh touched the Cheese with his finger, and that's what started this thing called the Cheese Touch. It's basically like the Cooties. If you get the Cheese Touch, you're stuck with it until you pass it on to someone else. The only way to protect yourself from the Cheese Touch is to cross your fingers.
Spongebob
- Spongebob's Bubble Technique
Okay, Patrick, it's all in the technique! First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times. One, two three. Then pelvic thrust. Whoo, whoo. Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then...
Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso
- Kaori Miyazono - Feels
Was I able to live inside someone's heart? Was I able to live inside your heart? Do you think you'll remember me at least a little? You'd better not hit "reset!" Don't forget me, okay? That's a promise, okay? I'm glad it's you, after all. Will I reach you? I hope I can reach you.
Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso
- Kaori Miyazono
Such a cruel boy. Telling me to dream one more time. I thought I was satisfied because my dream had come true... And I'd told myself it was enough... Yet here you are, watering this withered heart again.
Baka To Test To Shokanjuu
- Yoshii Akira
It's all right to grieve over your defeat. It's important to admit when you've lost. Not being able to do so makes it impossible for you to climb back up after a fall, and even more impossible, for you to move forward. So go on ahead and grieve to your heart's content. But after you're done grieving, be sure to set your eyes upon your next goal and move towards it.
Deadpool
- Wade Wilson after amputating hand and getting home to Blind Al
Blind Al: Why such a douche this morning? Wade Wilson: Let's recap: the cock-thistle that turned me into this freak slipped through my arms today... arm. Catching him was my only chance to be hot again, get my super sexy ex back and prevent this shit from happening to someone else, so yeah, today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo.
