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Kenzie Sauer
A fundamental misunderstanding of depression.

Brenda Shaughnessy
Well you can actually make it go slower than 1 second per second if you …

Anonymous
changed eve to even

Some Disney Princess
I swear, didn't that happen to the Mongolian Empire lol

Satan
NO. JUST NO. WHY. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME OF THIS ABSOLUTE TORTURE

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vorktanamo's quotes

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Goonies - Chunk confesses
But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - Vogons
Vogons are one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy - not evil, but bad tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders, signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public enquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.

The Big Lebowski - The Dude
Way out west there was this fella... fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Mr. Lebowski, he called himself "The Dude." Now, "Dude" - that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense.

The Big Lebowski - Day of Rest
What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - How do you know she is a witch?
So why do witches burn? 'Cause they're made of wood? Good! How do we tell if she is made of wood? Build a bridge out of her. But can you not also make bridges out of stone? Oh, yeah. Does wood sink in water? No, it floats. - Throw her into the pond! What also floats in water? Bread. Apples. Very small rocks. Cider! Great gravy. Cherries. Mud. Churches. Lead. A duck! Exactly. So, logically- If she weighs the same as a duck... she's made of wood. And therefore? A witch!