Mark Kermode
Firstly it's very long, I mean it's over two hours long and it should really have been at tops, absolute tops, 88 minutes, because then it just would have been vomit-inducingly ghastly. It's one of those films in which the saccharine sugary coating is so badly done that you think that you're watching a pastiche, you think somebody is doing a joke about just how badly these things can be put together. It desperately wants to be Love Actually, and it is Toilet Actually.
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