Fat Bastard
- Not Happy
Of course I'm not happy. Look at me, I'm a big fat slob! I've got bigger titties than you do! I've got more chins than a Chinese phone book! I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare legally dead! I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy. I'm unhappy because I eat... It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I have to get in touch with and forgive: myself.
George Washington
- Government
Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.
Doctor Evil
- My Parents
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of... general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
