Skip Parker
- Strapped For Cash
During college, I worked on a conveyor belt. One day, I was on a blind date, and she asked me about my job. "I work at the end of a belt," I said. With an ebullient smile, she asked, "Are you the buckle?"
gcfl.net
- My Daily Regimen
My doctor took one look at my gut and refused to believe that I work out. So I listed the exercises I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backward, run around in circles, put my foot in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.
Pamela Spinney
- Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off
My five-year-old, Matt, worked with a speech therapist on the ch sound, which came out k. The therapist asked him to say chicken. He responded with kitchen. They tried again and again, but it always came out kitchen. Undeterred, she pushed him for one more try. Matt sighed and said, "Why don't we just call it a duck?"
Marcy Snaza
- Bosom Buddies
My friend at the singles club was blithely chatting away, oblivious to the fact that her name tag had slipped down over her breast. I asked another friend if I should say something to her. "Like what?" she asked. "What she named the other one?"
Carole Holder
- Joke 2
The food at the sandwich shop I frequent is good, but any deviation from the norm throws the staff. I once told a clerk that I wanted only half a sandwich. His reply: "What am I going to do with the other half?" A week later, when I told another clerk the same thing, she responded, "Do you want the top or the bottom?"
Michael Stephens
- Joke 1
The last time we changed from daylight saving time, a preacher friend posted, "For those who habitually show up 15 minutes late to church, allow me to remind you that tonight is the night you set your clock back 45 minutes."
University of Oxford
- Faculty of English
Within the modern period, particular areas of interest among faculty members include modernist poetry, fiction, and drama, the cultural contexts of literature, literature and science, life writing, modern drama and performance studies, contemporary poetry, post-colonial studies, and Irish literature.
Jasmyn Johnson
Hanna Montana may have said "Nobody is perfect," yet, here I am. That is what I want my senior quote to be this year. It is funny and entertaining, what do you think?
