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Anonymous
changed eve to even

Some Disney Princess
I swear, didn't that happen to the Mongolian Empire lol

Satan
NO. JUST NO. WHY. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME OF THIS ABSOLUTE TORTURE

Kawish
Friday is my favourite day of the week too! Like you get to do something …

Eric Cantona
Hey nice quote man!

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Hideaki Anno - About Neon Genesis Evangelion
Eva is a story that repeats... It is a story where the main character witnesses many horrors with his own eyes, but still tries to stand up again. It is a story of will; a story of moving forward, if only just a little. It is a story of fear, where someone who must face indefinite solitude fears reaching out to others, but still wants to try.

Wikipedia - Garden-path sentences
A garden path sentence is a grammatically correct sentence that starts in such a way that a reader's most likely interpretation will be incorrect. Examples: The horse raced past the barn fell. The old man the boat. The complex houses married and single soldiers and their families.

Anonymous - The Longest Joke in the World
Lost in the Desert: So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had a great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here.

Antoine Dodson - Bed Intruder
Well, obviously, there's a rapist in Lincoln Park. He's climbing up your windows, snatching your people up, he's trying to rape 'em so y'all have to hide your kids, hide your wives, and hide your husbands too, 'cause he's trying to rape everybody out there. You don't have to come and confess, we're looking for you. We're gonna find you. We're going to find you. So you can run and tell that, home boy.

Ralph Linton - The Study of Man: An Introduction (excerpt, lightly edited)
He reads the news of the day, imprinted in characters invented by the ancient Semites upon a material invented in China by a process invented in Germany. As he absorbs the accounts of foreign troubles, he will, if he is a good, conservative citizen, thank a Hebrew deity in an Indo-European language that he is 100 per cent American.

Unknown - Murphy's Laws of Combat Operations
1. Friendly fire - isn't; 2. Recoilless rifles - aren't; 3. Suppressive fires - won't; 4. You are not Superman. Marines and fighter pilots take note; 5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down; 6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid; 7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.