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Someone you will never meet
I'm just procrastinating on my essay that is due in 2 days qwq

Myself
uhhh what

J.K. Rowling
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Wikipedia
Dude as I was typing this quote I was changing my posture and carpal tunnel …

Made Up On The Spot
Riddled with errors.

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Suggestion - Loud typing noise.
If your colleagues complain about your noisy mechanical keyboard, you may try the following methods: wrap a rubber band underneath your space bar keycap, or rest your keyboard on a piece of cloth to dampen the impact from your keystrokes to the table.