Neil Degrasse Tyson, mostly
- How to Think Versus What to Think
Consider this example. Imagine a spelling bee, and the word is "cat." One kid says "C-A-T," which is right! Next kid says "K-A-T," which is wrong. Third kid says "X-Q-W," which is considered equally as wrong as "K-A-T," even though it could be argued that Kat is a better spelling. The world is never just black and white. It's more important to know *how* to think than *what* to think because when you know *how* to think, it empowers you far beyond those who know only what to think.
Dennis Lehane
- Sympathy vs Empathy
Sympathy's easy. You have sympathy for starving children swatting at flies on the late-night commercials. Sympathy is easy because it comes from a position of power. Empathy is getting down on your knees and looking someone else in the eye and realizing you could be them, and that all that separates you is luck.
Stephen Hawking
- Suicide
The victim should have the right to end his life, if he wants. But I think it would be a great mistake. However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at. While there's life, there is hope.
Unknown
- My Nephew Told This Joke At Dinner Last Night
Jack preparing for prom: He goes to rent a tuxedo, but upon arrival, he finds a very long line. He waits patiently and gets his tuxedo. Then he heads over to the limo rental place where he finds another very long line. He waits patiently and rents his limo. Then, he goes to the floral shop where he finds yet another very long line. Again, he waits patiently and gets some flowers. Upon arrival at prom, he moseys around a bit, making his way to the punch bowl to find that there's no punch line.
Rebel Wilson
- Rebel Wilson's Prison Husband
There's a picture of Rebel Wilson wearing two multi-finger rings. One says Rebel and the other says Wilson, across her fingers. She said "A guy made these for me. He's in prison. And he said, if you accept these, you're basically accepting to be my wife. And I was like, okay. It's custom bling! I'm not going to turn it down."
John Ruskin
- Greed
There is hardly anything in the world that some man can't make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man's lawful prey.
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
- Captain Speaking
What we've got here is... failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it... well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you men.
Batman (1989)
- Joker's Frustration
Batman... Batman... Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!
Albert Einstein
- Genius
As the great Albert Einstein said, "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
Bill Watterson as Calvin
- Friends
Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well-being when I have problems? ...I gotta get my life some writers.
Bill Watterson
- Procrastination Equals Immortality
Calvin explains how he gained immortality by saying, "God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die."
Bill Watterson
- Happiness
Calvin once said to his stuffed tiger and sometimes imaginary friend, Hobbes, "That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!"
Bill Watterson as Calvin
- History
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
Bill Watterson
- Worthy Knowledge
Calvin: "As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."
Bill Watterson as Calvin
- Loopholes
(writing, after being asked to explain Newton's First Law of Motion "in his own words"): "Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz." (speaking): "I love loopholes."
Bill Watterson as Calvin
- Cheating
...People always bend the rules if they think they can get away with it. Then again, that doesn't justify my cheating. Then I thought, look, cheating on one little test isn't such a big deal. It doesn't hurt anyone. But then I wondered if I was just rationalizing my unwillingness to accept the consequence of not studying. Still, in the real world, people care about success, not principles. Then again, maybe that's why the world is such a mess. What a dilemma!
Bill Watterson as Calvin
- Testing
During a test, Calvin says, "As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations."
Bill Watterson as Calvin
- Education
Today for show and tell I've brought a tiny marvel of nature: a single snowflake. I think we might all learn a lesson from how this utterly unique and exquisite crystal... turns into an ordinary boring molecule of water just like every other one when you bring it in the classroom. And now, while the analogy sinks in, I'll be leaving you drips and going outside.
Bill Watterson as Calvin
- Halloween Costume
I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak. Am I scary, or what?
