Whether patients with adult bipolar disorder who have been clinically stabilised with lithium or lamotrigine should continue this medication is not established fully. This systematic review and meta-analysis evaluated the efficacy and safety of lithium and lamotrigine for maintenance treatment in clinically stable patients with adult BD.
Patients received lamotrigine mostly as an add-on treatment in addition to ongoing antidepressant and/or antipsychotic medication. By the end of the six-month treatment period 38% of patients achieved remission and rate of relapse after three months was 24%. Rate of adverse events was very low (1%) and they in no case led o termination of therapy. At baseline 17% of patients had clinically significant suicide risk which gradually decreased to 2.1% during the 6-month study period. No suicide attempt or completed suicide occurred during the study period. Results indicate that lamotrigine is an effective and well-tolerated treatment for the acute and long-term treatment of bipolar patients.
In this systematic review we present information relating to the effectiveness and safety of the following interventions: antidepressants, carbamazepine, chlorpromazine, clonazepam, cognitive therapy, education, family-focused psychoeducation, gabapentin, haloperidol, lamotrigine, lithium, olanzapine, psychological treatments, quetiapine, risperidone, topiramate, valproate, and ziprasidone.
This meta-analysis investigated the efficacy, safety, and tolerability of lamotrigine versus placebo in preventing relapse and recurrence of mood episodes in women of childbearing age with bipolar I disorder. Following up to 16 weeks' open-label lamotrigine treatment, responders were randomized to double-blind treatment, including lamotrigine 100-400 mg/day or placebo, in four trials of up to 76 weeks. Lamotrigine delayed relapse and recurrence of mood episodes, largely by preventing depressive episodes, and was well tolerated in women of childbearing age.
Bipolar disorder is characterized by recurrent episodes of depression and mania or hypomania. Bipolar depressive episodes are similar to major depressive episodes. Manic and hypomanic episodes are characterized by a distinct change in mood and behaviour during discrete time periods. The age of onset is usually between 15 and 25 years, and depression is the most frequent initial presentation. Approximately 75% of symptomatic time consists of depressive episodes or symptoms. Early diagnosis and treatment are associated with a more favourable prognosis. Prevalence rates of metabolic syndrome, obesity, cigarette smoking, and type 2 diabetes are higher among people with bipolar disorder, contributing to the risk of early mortality. Approximately 15% to 20% of people with bipolar disorder die by suicide. Bipolar disorder affects approximately 8 million adults in the US. First-line therapy includes mood stabilizers, such as lithium, anticonvulsants, such as valproate and lamotrigine, and atypical antipsychotic drugs, such as quetiapine, aripiprazole, asenapine, lurasidone, and cariprazine.
56 is smaller than 65. 56 is smaller than 65. 56 is smaller than 65.
56 reversed is 65 but 56 reversed is 65 but 56 reversed is 65 but
floating in the air. floating in the air. floating in the air. floating in the air.
and 55 balloons are and 55 balloons are and 55 balloons are
5 cute dolphins, 5 cute dolphins, 5 cute dolphins, 5 cute dolphins,
alksdjgfdkjhglasdjkfhsakj
What's in your soul?
Is your heart so damp and bleak
That you won't give us a peek
Of your soul?
Just let it out
There's a voice inside of you
On the edge of coming through
What's it about?
And I know it's a singular voice, Paul
You've just got to give up your choice
Just let it out, let it out, let it out
Let it out, let it out, let it out
Just let it out, let it out, let it out
Let it out, let it out
Never!
What was that?
You let it out.
Was that a note?
or just a sound?
Am I finally coming round
To a rhyming scheme?
Oh god!
Just stop it!
I'm split in two!
Is this me?
Or is this you?
Am I dead?
I'm coming apart
At the seams
La da da da da da da da da- No!
No no no no no no no!
Just let it out, let it out, let it out
Let it out, let it out, let it out
Just let it out, let it out, let it out
Let it out, let it out... let it
I've never been happy
Wouldn't that be nice?
Is this the secret?
Singing and dancing through life?
Is my integrity worth anything at all?
But happiness can't come before its fall
Am I crazy?
Maybe I've always been
Become what I've hated?
Or maybe I never did
It's awful freeing now to share the hate I felt
But what will I let in if I let it out?
Out, let it out, let it out
Am I crazy?
I don't think so!
Let it out, let it out, let it out
Maybe I've always been
Just let it out, let it out, let it out
God help me now...
Let it out, let it out
If I let it out!
We will not be resisted...
I don't!
like!
musicals!
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# [Another] line (456) to <> be == typed as while print("characters") !
# A <= third() R8760 line 92 < 538 to i * i practiced {6732}.
# His *email + is '3-4.7' azanians@yahoo.com & 35>7 mokoetle@gmail.com \|` "100% done"
####
# Standard import
import math
import random
import datetime
# Importing a module with alias
import itertools as it
# Importing specific functions from a module
from functools import reduce
# Class definition with a method
class Dog:
def __init__(self, name):
self.name = name
def bark(self):
return f"{self.name} says Woof!"
# Class definition with inheritance
class Cat(Dog):
def purr(self):
return f"{self.name} says Meow!"
# Generator function
def fibonacci():
"""Generate Fibonacci sequence."""
a, b = 0, 1
while True:
yield a
a, b = b, a + b
# List comprehension
even_numbers = [x for x in range(10) if x % 2 == 0]
# Dictionary comprehension
squared_numbers = {x: x**2 for x in range(5)}
# Set comprehension
odd_numbers_set = {x for x in range(10) if x % 2 != 0}
# Lambda functions
add = lambda x, y: x + y
multiply = lambda x, y: x * y
# Main function
def main():
print("Welcome to the Python Program!")
# Calculate factorial using reduce
factorial = reduce(lambda x, y: x * y, range(1, 6))
print("Factorial of 5:", factorial)
# Check if a number is prime
num = 17
is_prime = lambda n: n > 1 and all(n % i != 0 for i in range(2, int(math.sqrt(n)) + 1))
if is_prime(num):
print(f"{num} is a prime number.")
else:
print(f"{num} is not a prime number.")
# Instantiate Dog and Cat objects
dog = Dog("Buddy")
cat = Cat("Whiskers")
print(dog.bark())
print(cat.bark())
print(cat.purr())
# Generate Fibonacci sequence using a generator
fib = fibonacci()
print("Fibonacci sequence:", [next(fib) for _ in range(10)])
# Print even numbers using list comprehension
print("Even numbers:", even_numbers)
# Print squared numbers using dictionary comprehension
print("Squared numbers:", squared_numbers)
# Print odd numbers using set comprehension
print("Odd numbers:", odd_numbers_set)
# Use itertools to find permutations
permutations = it.permutations([1, 2, 3])
print("Permutations:", list(permutations))
# Calling the main function
if __name__ == "__main__":
main()
From the psychological standpoint, X1 is/are bound up inextricably with X2, which indicates they lead to Y1. As a well-known example, a longitudinal study conducted by eminent scientists in 2014 demonstrates the relationship between Y1 and Y2. Consequently, my empirical evidence presented thus far supports the contention that the likelihood of Y3 is correlated positively with X1.
Recently, Topic has/have sparked an ongoing controversy, which inevitably leads to a moot question “is it advantageous or not?”. Whereas it is a widely held view that X1 is/are highly beneficial, I will discuss controversial aspects of that throughout this essay.
ZOULU 1234 ZEMOM F450 ZINNO 0156 ZAGER 2004 ZANNG 1452 SEDAR 1648 AUNTI 2341 DAL456 HALLI 0012 HELOP F320 ACA992 HEKAB F450 HEMLO 1821 AUNTI F340 ADOPE 1749 UAL1234 AXELE 1922 ADTIL F280 ALLBE 0404 BOARD 2257 BEKME F210 BILLO 0904 BARAZ WJA1882 1058 BAART F380
CEBEN 2229 SWA4556 CIVIT 1034 CORTT 1718 ASA456 CUNDU 1619 CREAN F420 CEBEN 0224 CIVIT 0045 FLEXX 0609 GITLE 0407 GALIP F370 DRAYK 1334 DUSAC F450 DIALO 0201 DADIE 0135 DUETS F390 ELOYI 1358 ERROT 1729 ETNIC 0217 ETECO F370 EDSEL 0123 FAPIS 1335 FOMAS 1954 FIZEL 1638 FLITY F450 FOOTS F320
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CHAPTER 6
Embracing
To heal, we must embrace the truths we avoid and the feelings they evoke. These truths we embrace include our inner life (our feelings and anxiety and the ways we avoid them) and our outer life (reality). In this embrace, we discover who we are and who we always have been underneath the lies we tell ourselves.
Whom Did I Marry?
Falling in love is such a wonderful adventure, but within a few years something strange occurs. Our spouses appear different, disappointing. Why?
In my case, I fell in love with a fantasy and over time met my wife instead. What a crisis! I was disappointed she was not the same as my wish. I believed she should be the way I thought she should be. No one asked me, “Jon, who made you God?” As a result, my suffering (and hers) was protracted.
Then I realized if I couldn’t love her as she was, I should let her go so someone else could. It was not her job to be my ideal. I should live up to my ideal if I think it’s that important. I thought, “That’s not possible either.”
I went to the internal divorce court and divorced my wish. This painful proceeding extended over years, but once I had divorced my ideas, I was able to marry my wife instead. To a degree, I was more in love with my wish than my wife. I saw the value in my longing, but this blinded me to the inner beauty underneath her “flaws,” flaws meaning departures from my desires.
Magazine titles tell us “How to Be the Perfect Partner,” “34 Moves to Sexually Awaken Your Spouse,” and “How to Revive a Marriage.” But no article says relationships die if you try to manipulate each other into being ideal mates or Olympic sexual partners. No column says marriages perish when you love your ideas instead of your spouse.
When we love our story of who our spouses should be, we try to give them the script. “Why are you always late?” “You shouldn’t watch so much television.” “Why don’t you wear this instead?” “You’ve had enough!” These instructions, freely and compassionately offered, accompanied by deep insight into why they fail to follow them, often take the form of fights. Our spouses realize we want our image, not them, and for some mysterious reason, they become angry.
When we say things like “You would be happier if you woke up earlier,” what we really mean is “I would be happier if you weren’t you and turned into who I want you to be instead!” The mate keeps showing up instead of our demand. Then we whine, moan, and complain, looking for books and articles to tell us how to argue in marriage. What if we are fighting reality? Will this fight make my fantasy spouse appear and my real spouse disappear?
A conflict can enact our divorce from life. We never have a fight with a person but with what he or she represents. A woman nagged her husband for eating junk food on vacation. For him, vacation was a time to enjoy a few potato chips and Oreos. For her, he shouldn’t want junk food and shouldn’t eat it.
She assigned herself the role of the food police and lectured him on the health consequences of his snacking. Or she gave him dirty looks, priding herself on her “self-restraint.” Her fighting attempted to make him go away: “Don’t think, act, or be this way.” She was no longer interested in her real husband. She was interested in him becoming her fantasy: “Stop being the husband I have and become the imaginary man I want.” If he did not become the mate in her mind, she would have to let go of the imaginary twin who wanted what she wanted. Unable to love the man she had, she remained married to the image in her mind and made their lives miserable. Finally, he realized that her marriage to this image was a divorce filing with him, so he finalized the divorce by leaving her.
Why does our spouse show up and not our wish? Do we have to divorce our wish? Must we get engaged to reality and marry this imperfect person? Marriage means that we divorce our fantasies to embrace the person we married, the person who will never be our fantasy.
Is Love a Projection?
What is love? We can reduce love to merely a sexual instinct, self-interest, or a positive emotion. Yet if we consider only sexual attraction real, love itself becomes unreal. If love is unreal, the qualities we see in our beloved are merely our projections. Is that true?
Do we pick our loved ones by comparing them with other products on Match.com? If we treat dating like a mate market, where we regard people as commodities, we shop around for the best deal—the package with the right attributes—and pick a person off the virtual shelf. But selecting a product is not the same as loving a person. Love draws us in by what we cannot name or describe, but only sense and feel—the otherness of the other.
In contrast, self-love lacks the essential transcendent dimension of love: the ability to glimpse a person’s inner value and respond to her interior beauty. For instance, a narcissistic woman mistakes her self-love for love of her husband. She becomes angry when people insult him but not because they hurt him. She thinks they hurt her, since she views him as an extension of herself.
A loving woman is not preoccupied with her reaction; she feels compassion for her husband’s pain. It’s not about her. She sees her husband so clearly she does not need to project onto him. She does not need to convince herself to love him because she cannot help doing so.
Is her love for him a feeling? Feelings appear and disappear in response to what triggers them. They’re states of mind. Love, on the other hand, is more enduring. Although we feel fluctuations of love within us, those fluctuations are not fleeting clouds that appear and disappear in the sky but the shifting tides of an ever-present sea, expressions of the love we are.
Love is not mere pleasure like we find in a warm bath. No one has ever married a bathtub. We could reduce love to a need, a wish, or sexual desire. These forms of illusory love are based on a craving in us, not a response to the beauty in our beloved. If he merely serves our need, he is an object we use, not a person we love.
Satisfying a need, such as drinking a glass of water to end our thirst, decreases our interest in the water, ending our movement toward it. However, love intensifies our sense of awe, drawing us closer to our beloved. Satisfying an appetite is finite, but exploring the mystery of our beloved is infinite.
When asked why you love your spouse you become tonguetied. Words like “kind” and “sweet” may be true, but they are so inadequate; the preciousness of your spouse cannot be contained in partial details.
Love is unsayable and even undoable because when you love someone, you are no longer a separate person “doing” love to your beloved. Instead you feel a current of love, a current that arises the moment you stop regarding your beloved as an object, a thing, or a category in your mind. She is as she is, separate from all of your ideas. You love her, not some image of how you want her to be. She loves you, not an image you ask her to love. She and you are a mystery loving a mystery. Those blind to love never meet the mystery they are with because they chase the image they desire.
A man of means came to therapy to show his wife that he wanted to resolve the issues that led to his extramarital affair. Meanwhile, he lied to his wife, saying he would be faithful to her, and to his mistress, promising he would leave his wife. The problem he brought to therapy was that he wanted to keep his mistress happy, so she would not tell his wife about the affair. For him, women were objects to be bought, used, and discarded—every person was a commodity, each with its price.
Such a man could not perceive anything but means and ends; his two-dimensional world was devoid of sacrifice, encounter, and mystery. Trapped in his fantasies, he no longer lived in the world. He set himself apart from reality. His wife and mistress were objects to use and have, not persons to love and cherish.
He could not allow either his wife or his mistress to be as they were. Instead, he demanded that they be who he wanted them to be. He thought that his wife should have accepted his promise of fidelity as a substitute for it and that his mistress should have accepted his promise of marriage as a substitute for a wedding. In both cases he said, in effect, “Pay attention to my words; ignore my deeds.”
He could not meet these women as people because, for him, they were things to use. He did not realize that when we treat people as things, we relate to fantasies. Only when the ones we love are no longer fantasies in our minds, do those people become real to us—then love begins.
Love takes delight in the inner beauty of the beloved. This inner beauty calls out to us, and we respond to these depths our words can never grasp and toward which they can only point. The beloved’s inner beauty calls forth our love, which in turn brings out more of that beauty. As the theologian Dietrich von Hildebrand says, “The value flashing up in another person pierces my heart and engenders love for him.”1
When we treat our loved ones as treasures, others might claim that we are blinded by love and that what we value is an illusion. Love does not generate an illusion of value. Devaluation strips away the value of a person and treats the resulting illusion of no value as real. Interestingly, devaluation is an alienated form of love, the love of images. The devaluer wants to devalue someone and relate to that devalued image. He is secretly attached to this defaced form. By loving the image, he becomes unable to see the inner beauty of others, suffering from a form of spiritual blindness.
In contrast, when we love our beloved, we do not love an image in our mind. Nor do we present an image to love. Nor are we obsessed with getting our beloved to admire us for being loving. For in love, we and our beloved are love itself. We are responding to and from our depths, not to or from our facades.
In love, we are not the focus. “With whom is the lilac in love when it scents the air; the pear tree when it produces abundance; the lark when it whistles curiously its song?” as Robert Wolfe asks.2 I am not a giver of love to someone outside of myself who is the receiver. Saying “I want you to love me” means, “You are an object to fulfill my desires.” viewing people as objects separate from us who must be conquered is not love but delusion.
In love, we no longer find an image of me and an image of you but a presence, since the images are lost in the love like sugar cubes dissolved in water. In love there is no lover or beloved. What we are transcends ideas of you and me. We are not separate from love; the imaginary separation is an artifact of thought. Is love a projection? No. Devaluation is.
Why Do We Shout in Anger?
A Hindu saint visiting the Ganges to take a bath found a group of family members on the bank, shouting. He turned to his disciples, smiled, and asked, “Why do people shout in anger at each other?” His disciples thought for a while until one of them said, “Because we lose our calm, we shout.”
“Why should you shout when the other person is next to you?” asked the saint. “You could just as easily speak in a soft voice.” His disciples offered answers, but none were satisfactory. So he explained, “When two people are angry with each other, their hearts become distant. To cover that distance, they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they have to shout to hear one another over the increasing distance. What happens when two people fall in love? They whisper because their hearts are so close. The distance between them is either very small or nonexistent.”
The saint continued, “When they love each other even more, they need not even speak. To gaze into another’s eyes is enough when two hearts beat as one. When you argue, do not say words that push others away. Or else a day will come when the distance is so great you will not find the path of return.”3
We never shout at a person but at the image we have placed upon him, for instance, the image of a person who doesn’t want to listen to us. In fact, his ears are fine. If we assume that he does not want to hear us, we will yell at our projection. We shout at someone whom we believe does not want to listen to us. Yet we do not want to listen to him, for if we did, we wouldn’t yell at him.
Relational Knowing
In a therapy session, a man described having sex with his girlfriend while fantasizing about another woman. When we explored his problem he wondered, “Who knows? Maybe they have met each other somewhere. It’s always possible.”
“You speculate about them, creating imaginary fantasies for us to relate to. You invite us to copulate with your ideas, but you are not present with me.”
“Like I do with her,” he said, referring to the way he made love to a fantasy woman in his mind while having sex with his girlfriend.
Copulating with his speculations distracted him from his girlfriend’s love. Rather than let the act of lovemaking dissolve his walls, begetting greater closeness, he used imagination to separate himself from her embrace. He had sex with many women, but had made love to none. An eternal wanderer in life and a sightseer in love, he had never dared call any heart his home.
We can treat another person like an object we put outside ourselves and inspect. Or we can open ourselves to a mystery, a person from whom we no longer distance ourselves and whom we never fully understand. We cannot convert the essence of a person into a thing we think about.
A person is not a static piece of plastic but a living, changing being. When we love a person, we relate to the one we know, the one we will come to know, and the one we will never know. She is not a piece of clay we mold into our image, but a person with whom we enter into communion.
When we cut ourselves off from a person, we cling to what we believe, freeze it, and claim, “This is who you are!” We no longer find the person, but fondle our idea of him. Using our ideas to “grasp” a person is as futile as using a butterfly net to catch the wind. In contrast, love keeps shattering the concepts in which we tried to contain a person. Love reveals who this person is beyond our ideas and beliefs. As we become intimate with those we care about, we begin to respect their transcendence and mystery.
Later in the session, the man who fantasized about other women during sex was moved to tears during a moment of emotional intimacy with me, and he said, “It’s strange. It’s wordless inside, and I don’t know where these tears are coming from.”
“This wordless silence is you.”
“I never felt this before.”
“This is home. You can stop wandering.”
“I start doubting whether this is real.”
“The mind doubts reality, but you always exist under the chatter.”
Underneath his false knowledge was his wordless being. We sat with his silent tears until he said, “I’m not saying anything.”
“Your eyes are telling us what your lips cannot say.”
The man’s tears revealed what he was underneath the words, ideas, and labels. And in this openness he began to realize that he was none of those ideas but the awareness that perceived them. The therapy helped him notice a space within himself that he had not recognized before.
How sad it is when despair blinds us to the potential inherent in any human being. If we fail to relate to the unknown, we will never learn of the potentials in another person. We fail to hope.
A therapist in training lamented, “My teachers at school and our clinic say that people cannot benefit from treatment if they are too old, too feeble-minded, too sick, too disturbed, or if they use drugs and alcohol. If an elderly man asks for my help, I’m supposed to tell him that therapy can’t help him.” Handed the gun, she was asked to pull the trigger and become a killer of hope.
A therapist cannot know in advance whether therapy will enhance our lives. A good clinician will not decide based on his projections but on his explorations; he will talk to us to discover what we cannot see in ourselves.
Emily Dickinson reminds us of hope’s delicate quality: “Hope is the thing with feathers.”4 This fragile tendril that keeps people alive should never be crushed. In psychotherapy we embrace not only what the patient can see in himself but also what he cannot yet see. In that way, we extend our faith and hope as a loan.
Alcoholic, schizophrenic, borderline, and mentally retarded are categories and diagnoses, but who are the people underneath these labels? A therapist never treats a diagnosis but the broken heart, which is its cause. Once, a medical intern rushed to one of my colleagues in panic and begged her to get a woman to return to the hospital. The patient, a hypochondriac, had asked the intern to examine her three times that week. The intern told the patient that he would check to make sure that she was not having a heart attack. She ran out of his office crying.
My colleague called the patient and invited her to come in for a consultation at the hospital. She talked to the patient and noticed an important fact in her chart: the patient’s son had been murdered a year before. She said to the patient, “Your doctor didn’t realize that you are not suffering from a heart attack but from a broken heart.” The patient entered therapy and made rapid progress. With her son gone, she had no one to pin her love on, so she satisfied her “hypochondriacal” needs by volunteering at the hospital, where she delivered books, and read and talked to patients. The patients became her son, the hospital her home, until the therapist helped her mend her broken heart.
The last thing we need is a therapist to reinforce a pathological belief that we are hopeless. We need a pilot to help steer us toward realistic hope. For even if the therapist cannot offer the highest hopes, she can at least point us toward our highest potential.
When we have no hope for ourselves, we are blinded by defenses we don’t see and lies we can’t identify. Despair, no matter how well rationalized, represents the refusal to relate to the potential buried under the pathology. Discovering the essence hidden underneath is the art and gift of listening. If we give up on and forget another person’s essence, hope dies.
The therapist helps us find a path to new possibilities. No matter how much we may limit ourselves, she sees how we can transcend those limits. The despair of this moment is but a partial glimpse of ourselves, for the rest of who we are lives outside our defenses. The therapist’s faith in us means that she sees what we don’t see: who we are beyond our blinders.
Psychotherapy helps us see who we are, the vastness that exists outside our self-image. Freed from our illusions, we get a glimpse of who we are and take up the task of listening to our depths.
Insights or Outsights?5
Relational knowing differs from cognitive thinking. That’s why people often question the value of cognitive insight. If those insights were so helpful, self-help books would long ago have cured the world.
When we have intellectual insights about people, we talk about them as if they were objects. This is not true psychotherapy but a disturbance for which real therapy can be the cure. What if people invite us to form this kind of distant relationship?
I noted how a former gigolo was distancing himself from me and asked him what he felt toward me that made him want to put up this barrier. He replied, “I don’t know.”
“Saying ‘I don’t know’ is how you hide, but then I will never get to meet you. What feelings are coming up toward me that make you hide from me?”
“I have no idea. I mean, I could throw something out for you.”
“Yes, and then you become a psychological gigolo. ‘Maybe Jon would like to hear this or relate to that.’ Then we will have the same destructive gigolo relationship you had with your girlfriend. What feelings make you put up this barrier of the psychological gigolo?”
“There could be any of a number of feelings, I guess.”
“Notice how you take the position of an observer? You sit outside this relationship and watch this interaction between me and a man who has your name. You are outside the therapy, observing it. This has kept you a tourist in life, always on the outside looking in.”
His eyes teared up.
“What feelings make you hide behind the facade of the detached observer?”
“I think I do that a lot. I remain the observer, the judge.”
This man distanced himself from everyone around him—even from himself—and led the life of a detached observer. Rather than feel his feelings, he had spent a lifetime detaching from them. He repeated the insights others had offered but to no effect. These insights were “outsights.”
We begin therapy with diverse insights from parents, teachers, and friends, ideas that may drown out our inner voice. These insights are not understandings from within but outsights, views from the outside. When others pay attention to their opinions instead of our feelings, they listen away from our being and create outsights. If we listen to their outsights, we become deaf to ourselves.
How can we listen to ourselves so true insight is possible? We hear with our ears, but that is not adequate. We need to listen with our entire being. In this welcoming openness, we do not figure out the truth; we live it together by bearing what we feel without rushing to words, premature formulations, or new lies.
While listening to our feelings, can we bear their message? By bearing our feelings, we finally speak from our depths. Our task might be summarized as, “Listen to what is underneath the thoughts, and hear what those who ‘know all’ cannot.”
What Is Relating in Therapy?
To understand therapy, we must ask whom therapists relate to: a list of symptoms, a diagnosis, or a personality disorder? No, therapists relate to the person hidden under the symptoms, the symptoms caused by the divorce from his inner life.
Then therapists encourage us to undo that divorce and embrace our feelings. Using defenses over the years, we forget our desires and passions. This is the price of self-neglect, a habit used by the following woman. She reported a conflict with her boyfriend but said, “I don’t want to look at it.”
“You have a problem, and you don’t want to look at it. Is this how you neglect yourself?” I asked.
“I don’t think it’s that important.”
“You don’t think you are important. You dismiss your problem and yourself.”
A flash of sadness crossed her face. “I get it.”
“Do you notice how you invite me to neglect you too? When you ignore your problem, you ask me to ignore you and say, ‘You aren’t important. We can dismiss you.’ Why?”
Her eyes tearing, she confessed. “I’m used to it. I do this with men all the time.”
We engage in self-neglect and call it strength, but it’s self-hatred. This woman invited me to ignore her and perpetuate the dismissive relationships she had with men. She tried to forget her being and asked me to do the same. When I refused to collude with her crime of self-neglect, her feelings arose, and she spoke with a new voice. Therapists focus not only on what we say but also on how we listen to our feelings before we speak. Can we bear our feelings so our speech becomes full of what is inside us? When this woman bore the pain of her self-neglect, an insight emerged: “I do this with men all the time.”
When We Do to Ourselves What Was Done to Us
When we come for therapy, we bring the history of our suffering—sometimes in words and sometimes in the ways we treat ourselves. If others have hurt us in the past, we often hurt ourselves today in invisible ways, perpetuating our suffering in the present. The therapist, seeing our subtle forms of self-harm, doesn’t go on a fishing expedition into the past. Instead, she points out how we hurt ourselves in the present.
In the following excerpt from our first meeting, a woman said that she was moved by what I had told her.
“What do you notice feeling as you let me help you?” I asked. “You just came out of hiding.”
She sighed. “I was afraid I would start crying.”
“Why not? Wouldn’t it be better to cry than to be anxious?”
“Yes. It was very moving for me. At that moment, I thought, ‘I hadn’t met a man before who would hear me.’”
“Are you willing to let me hear your tears?”
“I’m not going to cry anymore.”
When therapists see how we reject our feelings, they comment on the cruelty we inflict upon ourselves, a cruelty we don’t see. They neither collaborate with our dismissal nor judge us for it. Instead, they compassionately point out how we cause our suffering.
“Do you want to stay anxious instead? Why be so cruel to your tears? Don’t they deserve love too? How long do your tears have to be rejected? When do they get to come back in the house? They must be getting very cold outside. How much longer do your tears have to suffer out in the cold before you let them back in? You don’t have to worry if I will reject you. We have to worry about you rejecting yourself and your tears.”
“I had this thought that we should talk about something important instead of crying.”
“You have this thought that you should talk over your tears and ignore them, but I know you didn’t come here to ignore your pain.”
Her face filled with sadness.
“Let the pain go through.”
“I’m afraid the tears will never finish when I start crying.”
“When you never let the crying start, the crying never stops. It’s why you have to let the tears out so they can finally stop and so your pain can come to an end.”
“Maybe I will let myself cry, but I cut it; I stop it.”
“You cut off your tears. You cut off yourself. You reject yourself and your tears. Isn’t it sad that you reject yourself like this? Why perpetuate your suffering? Why reject your pain? When does the sad girl get to come back into your arms? Let the tears go through.”
She sobbed for several minutes.
“The thought I have in the moment is, ‘Oh my God, I am sitting in a negative way and crying.’”
“And there’s more pain. Don’t punish yourself; don’t criticize yourself. Let the pain come out. You don’t have to hold it in anymore. You have the capacity to let your heart be healed. That’s it. There’s more where that came from. So much pain. So much suffering. Let it out. That’s why you came.”
“I’m ashamed.”
“Oh, how sad! When you are most in pain you slap yourself with words. Oh, please don’t hurt yourself like that. You’ve suffered too much already. Let’s not add to your suffering. This is not a time to shame yourself; this is a time to have compassion for your pain. This is not a time for cruelty to you. You don’t need any more suffering. How sad that you were tempted to punish yourself for revealing your pain and sadness. Don’t hold back.”
“It’s always like this.”
“You’ve always punished yourself for letting yourself become close to another person?”
“First, I heard that I am doing everything ugly, too much. I exaggerate. I make things up.”
“They punished you for revealing your pain.”
“For anything. Even for joy.”
“You were punished just for being emotionally alive.”
“Mhmm.”
“Go ahead and cry. It’s okay to be alive now. Let yourself be alive. And who judged you for being emotionally alive?”
“Mother and father, both of them.”
“Is that where you learned to punish yourself for being alive?”
“That’s how it happened.”
She did not need to tell me her history of neglect; she enacted it through the ways she dismissed and ignored her feelings. First I had to help her see and let go of her habit of self-neglect to allow the grief and pain to rise up and heal her. Then we could face the feelings toward her abusive parents, especially the anger she turned on herself. She had always protected her image of them as all good and regarded herself as all bad. Through this tragic violence toward herself, she revealed the love she had always felt for them but at the cost of her own well-being.
Once she faced these feelings deeply, her depression lifted for the first time. And as she let go of her self-neglect, her self-compassion grew, a compassion that extended not only to herself, but to her parents, and, especially, to her son. In the depths of her feelings, the judgments, thoughts, and insults of the past dissolved. She realized that she was greater than the misunderstandings of her parents. Now she lets her parents have their problems without making their problems her prison.
Lies We Tell That Lead Us to Fail
“Therapy is bullshit.” That’s how one man began his consultation with me. He had been in psychotherapy for thirty years without benefit. After this marathon of failure, his therapist referred him to me for a consultation. The patient said he came because his therapist sent him, and added, “I’m skeptical that you can do anything.” As we explored the reasons for the previous failure, he said that he had 99 percent given up on therapy. When I asked why he came, he said, “Hope springs eternal.” I asked how he experienced this hope. He said, “I don’t.” Then he told me that therapy was bullshit and therapists were bullshit. In the meantime, he said, “I’m in prison, waiting to die.”
His contradictory statements began to make sense as I realized that although he came for help, he took a passive stance and waited to be rescued by friends, girlfriends, and therapists. In his stance, he asked others to express hope and desire, and take responsibility for him. When they tried, he opposed them, argued with them, and defeated them. Rather than express his hope and his desire for him, I had to reflect back his lack of hope and desire. The following excerpt shows how we can tell the truth and embrace it.
He began the session by expressing contempt for me as another “bullshit therapist” who would do no good. On the one hand, he wanted help. Since he feared that if he trusted me, I would devalue him, he devalued me and himself instead. For instance, he described himself as hopeless, helpless, worthless, and ugly.
I asked, “Could this be a form of violence to yourself, this self-criticism?” His eyes teared up. “I never thought about it before.”
Although he had spent a lifetime attacking himself, he had never thought of it as a way of being violent to himself. Seeing this for the first time took him by surprise. Recognizing his cruelty to himself allowed him a split second of self-compassion.
“This contempt for me is nothing personal. It’s just your way of showing me how you show contempt for yourself.” He sobbed again. After he felt this grief over the violence to himself, however, he attacked himself virulently, justifying each insult. Every comment I made he tossed aside as worthless.
Eventually, he said, “I feel like giving up.”
“If your story works for you and you think that you are ugly and hopeless, and you believe that, it makes sense to give up.”
“Therapy’s not going to help me, but there’s always that thread of hope,” he said flatly.
“You don’t sound hopeful, and you don’t look hopeful.”
“There’s a hope for a hope.”
“You seem convinced you are right. If so, the best thing to do is to give up hope and wait for the end.”
“Yeah. Probably, but I mean it’s one of the only games in town, so I go to psychotherapy. What do I have to lose but money?”
“You are asking yourself to do something you don’t think will help. Why waste your money?”
“Maybe I have the wrong therapist.”
“You could always go shopping around.”
“Shopping doesn’t work. There’s no one out there.”
“Why go looking?”
“There’s a little bit of hope.”
“You don’t sound hopeful. You don’t look hopeful.”
“I’m not aware of it. I hope for hope.”
“In a way, therapy is defeated before it even begins.”
“It probably is. Yeah.”
“That’s okay. I can’t succeed with everybody.”
“Would it help to read your books?”
“This is about giving up. If you’ve already given up on yourself, why try?”
“I haven’t entirely given up,” he said passively. “And please don’t ask me how I experience this. I don’t know.”
“Are you sure you haven’t given up?”
“I’m 99 percent sure I’ve given up.”
“I can accept that. You must have good reasons for having given up. I have no right to argue you out of something you have thought through. People with certain experiences realize they have to accept their lot. It may no longer be the time for hope. The time for hope may have been in the past.”
“I don’t know what you are driving at. Maybe you are saying there is no hope and why not give up and stop going to therapy. Maybe you’re not saying that.”
“Since you’ve given up 99 percent.”
He interrupted, “Are you playing devil’s advocate?”
“No. I’m only reflecting reality. If you’ve 99 percent given up and are waiting for therapists to take responsibility for you to get better, you’re wasting your time.”
He thought I was trying to trick him. He didn’t realize how the lies he told himself had been tricking him for thirty years.
“I’ve been doing this for thirty years.”
“You’ve done this for thirty years. Whatever you’ve done hasn’t led to change. If you keep doing that, nothing will happen. You will need to do something different. If you’ve given up 99 percent and are waiting for a therapist to take responsibility, it doesn’t work.”
He sighed, “So you’re saying if I’ve given up 99 percent, I’m ill advised to go into therapy.”
“Right.”
“Maybe I ought to stop altogether. All I need are some drugs to feel better. I guess I was hoping you could convince me otherwise.”
He hoped I would argue with his lies. Then the conflict would be between him and me. Instead, I had to tell the truth. Then the conflict would be between his lies and reality.
“You’ve had thirty years of therapists trying to convince you. If you’ve 99 percent given up, you have good reasons. Therapy doesn’t work under those conditions. If you are waiting for the therapist to make you have hope, that isn’t going to work.”
“Would you speculate as to how I could have hope?”
“Only you could know. There must have been a moment in your life when you had hope and when you gave up. Something must have been crushing enough that you turned against hope.”
“It was gradual.”
“That happens with people.”
He sat up, so I continued, “I’m trying to give you honest feedback. You don’t want to spend another ten years fruitlessly. Therapy doesn’t help everyone.”
“What does one do if therapy doesn’t help?”
“That’s one question you are facing. Perhaps use medication and see what medication offers.”
“If I get my knee fixed and exercise regularly to produce endorphins, I can exercise my way out of it.”
“Exercise is good.”
“The other way is to fake it until I make it.”
“People do that too.”
“They say you should do what you enjoy doing, but I don’t enjoy doing anything. So you’re saying therapy won’t do any good for me.”
He mistakenly thought therapy would not do him any good. In fact, his strategies of giving up, taking a passive stance, and being defiant would not do him any good. He was right. The lies he told himself were not helping him.
“You’ve tried giving up for thirty years, and you’re presenting me the evidence: thirty years and no results. How you are approaching therapy isn’t working. If you want a different result, you need to do something differently. Only you can know what you could do differently to get a different result. Maybe there is nothing you can do. Only you can know.”
“You throw the ball in my court. I’m pretty much helpless.”
“If you’re helpless, we have to accept that you can’t do anything. Some people are physically or psychically crippled, and if that’s true for you, you would have to accept a crippled life.”
“You’re being honest, aren’t you?”
“Right. There are crippled people. If you have genuine disabilities, you will have a crippled life. Again, I don’t know. Only you can know what changes you could make, if any.”
“The one thing I can see is to see another therapist.”
He thought he needed to change therapists when he needed to change the way he used therapy. He thought he should quit therapy when he needed to begin therapy. In fact, he had engaged in self-destruction for thirty years and called it “psychotherapy.”
“You would only be waiting for another therapist to do what no therapist can do. And like you said, you would be helpless waiting for a therapist to rescue you. You’ve tried that for thirty years. I can’t see why you need more evidence for yourself.”
“You’re not playing devil’s advocate?”
“These are facts. You tried being helpless. And it only helped you be better at being helpless. Why pay money to get worse? You already know how to be helpless. You don’t need to pay a therapist to do that.”
“You say give up.”
“You’ve had a painful life and it’s very painful to give up. You have pain and grief about your self-hatred. On the other hand, you want to give up, to have other people take responsibility. I’m pointing out that if you keep wanting people to take responsibility, you will pay a lot of money to get worse.”
“Maybe I should exercise the option to try to get better.”
“There’s always that option.”
“If I wanted to get better, I may be able to get better.”
Here he offered a hypothetical wish to get better as a substitute for a genuine wish to work in therapy.
“Possibly, but you have to want that. If you want it 1 percent, you’ll get a 1 percent result.”
“How does one get into a position to want it?”
“You’re letting me know you haven’t been happy with a 1 percent result. You know it’s bullshit, and you don’t like bullshit. What can you give to yourself in the time remaining in your life? Therapy is only fifty minutes a week, and the rest of the time there’s you. The major factor in therapy is the patient. The therapist is only a tiny percent.”
“Hypothetically, you would say I am wasting my time.”
“If you’re going to do it this way, you already know it’s a waste of your time and money. You told me you wasted your time. Doing therapy that way doesn’t work. You’ve been doing it in a way that’s guaranteed not to work. That’s a lot of money to spend to do therapy in a way that will give you a terrible result.”
“Yeah. Well, may I tell my therapist that you said that therapy is a waste of time?”
Again, he thinks therapy is a waste of time when his self-destructive behaviors are destroying his life.
“You can tell him that therapy is a waste of time if you do it this way: 99 percent hopeless and you wait to be rescued. It doesn’t make sense.”
“You said it’s hopeless. You’re wasting your money. Why?”
“On the one side, you want to get better. A part of you wants to come out of prison, but another part of you is happy with prison and wants to stay there until you die, justifying prison. As long as you are happy there, you will stay there.”
“How do you suggest getting out of prison? How do I change what I want?”
“Why should you change what you want?”
“I don’t want to be that way.”
“Maybe it’s not time to let go of that story. You’re holding onto it, so there must be a good reason. Why make yourself want what you don’t want?”
“I don’t want to want that.”
While this is true, he also has spent the past thirty years opposing therapy. We have to help him see that he wants therapy to work and wants to be helpless in therapy. Both are true.
“If we accept you 100 percent today as you are: you’ve given up, you don’t think there’s hope. Okay. This is who I’m meeting. Can we accept reality?”
“Maybe I’m in a wheelchair, but you never know if there’s a cure for this disease. I may be forever in the wheelchair, but I don’t want to lose the chance to get out of the wheelchair.”
“We’re having to accept that most of you wants to be in the wheelchair.”
“Yeah.”
“Notice that, accept that, let that be, without having to change it, without having to explain it, without having to push yourself to do anything different.”
“I guess you come across hopeless cases.”
“Yeah.”
“What percentage?”
“Small.”
“You just let them go? Wow!”
“I have to accept the facts. If you believe you are hopeless, I have to accept your assessment. You have two parts to your personality: you long for change and you believe you are hopeless and helpless. Both of these forces are alive in you, although hopelessness is the winner. We have to accept that you feel helpless, hopeless, and accept that. These are facts.”
“I don’t want to accept it. I don’t want to accept these facts. I want to fight back when I hear you say this.”
“How do you experience this fight back?”
“I don’t know. I have some control, and when you say I’m hopeless, I don’t believe it. I’ve had a painful life, but I could change my hope if I wanted to, rather than roll over and die. I would disagree with you. I’m not ready to give up.”
“Ready for something else.”
“I’m ready to recognize the violence I do to myself, take note of it every time I do it. I don’t want to be the way I am. I want to want something. And I don’t think I’m 99 percent hopeless.” He sat up. “Maybe it’s possible.”
“Maybe it’s possible,” I repeated.
“I just need to light the pilot light and get the furnace running.”
“The furnace needs to run in you. You have been waiting for the furnace to run in other people. This is a very big insight, and I’ve rarely heard it said so beautifully. Waiting for someone to be the furnace, and the furnace is you. And all you need is to light the pilot light.”
“I think it’s lightable. I don’t think the furnace is dead.”
“No. The furnace can be lit. If you don’t light the furnace, then it’s dead. Do you want to light this light in you?”
“I want to want to light this light.”
“That won’t be enough.”
“I have to light the pilot light.”
“Wanting to want won’t be enough,” I insisted.
“The furnace may not run at full capacity because it’s an old furnace, but it may be semifunctional.”
“Even an old furnace can heat up the house.”
“It’s funny but your bleak picture made me want to fight back. ‘He’s wrong!’” He started sobbing. Gathering himself, he said, “I do have some control. I can’t just go through life with my head down and stay in prison.” He sobbed again, stopped, and then shifted. “I think you were playing devil’s advocate.”
“I was simply saying the truth, and the truth of what you are doing is bleak.”
He wept. “It’s hard to be positive when you’ve been negative your whole life.”
“It is. And we are noticing it’s hard to be positive about yourself. Being negative about yourself has been a slow form of suicide, killing yourself off piece by piece. Now we are learning you want something more.”
“I could revert very easily.”
“Absolutely. The choice is always there. You can always choose the path of self-hatred.”
He paused. “I do have a choice all the time. Get ready to start dying or get ready to start living. Talk is cheap.”
“Yes, it is.”
“And I’m thinking that you are thinking if I got in touch with my feelings, it would free me up.”
Rather than focus on what was in his heart he speculated about what was in my mind. This was how he avoided facing the longings in his own heart.
“Who had that thought?”
“I did.”
“Do you want to get in touch with your feelings?”
“Yes.”
“Do you feel more freed up?”
“Yes. The fact that I even want to take control . . .”
“This is very important. You want to face your feelings for you. It feels dangerous for you to own that you have a positive wish for yourself. So you attribute it to me. It frightens you to say you want to get freed up. This is very important. You are afraid of the ugliness in you, but you are more afraid of the beauty in yourself, your wish for health, what is good in you, and that’s what you try to put in me. You split off the beauty, put it in me, and then regard yourself as ugly. We have to return the healthy wish to you, so everything is in you.”
He paused. “I’ve never thought of it in that way.”
“What do you notice feeling as you own that?”
“I’m thinking of a Ray Stevens song: ‘Everything is Beautiful.’ Probably pie-in-the-sky stuff.”
His eyes filled with tears.
“You are very moved.”
“I am. I’m sick in my stomach and tired, but I do have the possibility of a different perspective.”
“That you could light the furnace. Choosing life rather than roll over and play dead.”
He shifted topics by referring to his girlfriend, saying, “I think this girl’s a terrible liar.”
“That could be, but I wonder: as we reflect on this session, how have you been lying to yourself? The lies you tell yourself are far more dangerous than any lies she could tell you.”
“It’s an exaggeration to say I’m physically repugnant. That’s a slight exaggeration. It’s a lie to say I have absolutely no control over anything. It’s a lie to say that I have no option but to roll over and play dead and be dead. It’s sort of a lie that all people don’t care. Some care.”
“Who is the person who has cared the least for you?”
He was startled and puzzled. Then I pointed my finger at him.
“Oh. Me. It wouldn’t have occurred to me.”
“What are the ways you have cared the least for you?”
“By retreating into the shadows. By having such a bad image, but most of all, the constant barrage: You’re worthless. You’re hopeless. You’re not competent. Those are lies I tell myself. As you termed it, being violent to myself. I can grab hold of these concepts and mold them any way I like. If I think I’m not competent, I can try to be competent in some way.”
“As we come to a close, what are you feeling?”
“Jon, I feel a lot better. Actually, a lot better. And I started feeling better after you said, ‘Let’s face it. You’re crippled.’ And I wanted to fight back.” He sobbed again, and then continued, “Maybe I was freed up emotionally and grieving. Maybe when you said, ‘You’re a hopeless case. There are psychic invalids.’ I could fight back if I wished to.” He burst into tears again. “I could fight back.” Again, he sobbed.
“You could fight back for you, for your life.”
“Yeah. I don’t know what went wrong in my life.”
“You’ve done a massive wrong to yourself, and you could turn that around. I don’t know what wrong was done to you, but you did a massive wrong to yourself and you could change that.”
“Every time I have a thought, almost 100 percent of the time, I’ll be thinking of the violence to myself and how I wronged myself. Thank you, Jon.”
With this breakthrough to grief and guilt over the ways he had sabotaged himself, he began to turn against his self-destructive defenses. He realized that he was in conflict with reality, not me. He hadn’t realized that self-sabotage will destroy any therapy, turning it into bullshit.
He saw his miserable life but not how he created it. He thought others didn’t care about him when he didn’t care about himself. He believed others lied to him when he lied to himself. He discovered that he was greater than his lies.
You Will Always Be Greater Than Our Understanding
Truth is an ocean; theory, a cup. We don’t realize that those we love remain mysterious to us, even after decades together. Our loved ones are people whom we are always coming to know. And beneath our beliefs lies the unknown person, impenetrable to any ideas but embraceable and, thus, “feelable.” Every person will always be greater than the theories in our heads.
We no longer stand over others in a kind of superior “overstanding.” We stand under a larger reality, a position that Heidegger reminded us is true understanding.6 Perhaps it is not so much that we see more deeply into others, but that we see more deeply from within ourselves, from that space in which knowledge arises.
To meet means walking in another person’s shoes, encountering someone who is us, because nothing human is alien to us, and not us, because every person is unique. Every person is the center of the universe. We are too. There are many centers.7
Relating reaches to the essence of the person under the conditioning. We open ourselves to the person who tries to reach us and whom we try to reach. Or we ask that person to fit into our preconceptions. Yet experience shows us that people were not put on earth to confirm our theories but to contradict them. If we try to fit people into our beliefs, we will never find their essence. As long as we love our images, we will never savor the surprise of meeting the person behind them.
We can imprison people in their histories and in our demands. Then their essence becomes the hand stroking our forehead, waiting for us to awaken from our self-induced coma. If we are fortunate, differences with others rouse us. Opening our eyes, we discern others little by little, and attempt to know them completely. Yet as Heraclitus said, we “cannot discover the bounds of the soul although you pace its every road: so deep is its foundation.”8 Every person is unknowable.
Each of us is a mysterious awareness without space, location, memory, or desire—a silent openness. Theory, however wonderful, is merely a finger pointing toward us.
Given the choice of embracing people or our ideas about them, we must always choose people. Then our thinking will expand to accommodate what is. Are we knowable? No, but we are embraceable. This is what we live in: the embrace.
Talking about the cloud, such as cloud computing or cloud storage, but you probably weren't sure exactly what it was. Well, the term
cloud computing refers to data and applications being stored and
run on the cloud rather than being stored and run on your lol
computer or on any equipment that you own. Then this data and the applications which are on the cloud are accessed through the intern
So the workload is no longer on your computer or on any equipment that you own, it's on the cloud. So what is the cloud? Now to put it
simple, the cloud is just a big building that's filled
with computers. To be specific, it's a big building filled with servers
and servers are just computers that provide services on behalf of clients. Now these buildings are very large, and well they have to be,
because when you take a look inside, it's a giant data center that contains servers as far as
the eye can see. And these servers perform numerous tasks, such as running applications, storing data, data processing, web hosting, and so on.
And they are also all networked together and they can be accessed on the internet. So what is the purpose of a cloud? Well, the
companies that own these clouds are called cloud providers and their purpose is to sell their computers as a service. Now a service is just
something that you pay someone to do for you rater than doing the job yourself.
So if a person or a company wanted to hire another company to do part or all of their computing workload, they would outsource it to a
third party. In other words, they would use cloud computing
So back in the old days before cloud computing and as an example
we'll use email. So at your home or office if you wanted to use email you would have your own physical emails server. So you would have a
server, an operating system, and email software such as Microsoft exchange. And then after some
configuration, you would be able to use email. But the problem is, is that if anything goes wrong with the server, such as a hardware
failure or a software problem, or if the operating system crashed,
then you would be responsible for fixing the problem, not to
mention any maintenance that is needed to keep the server up and running. However you do have the option o eliminating all the
hassle and upkeep of your own email server and have another company host all of your email on their servers in the cloud for you,
such as Gmail Hotmail and a bunch of others. But email is just
one example of cloud computing. There are also other services such
as productivity software, web servers, databases, and even YouTube. So yes you as an individual can use YouTube
as a cloud. So if you're a video creator and instead of building and maintaining your own video server and software and the extreme
high cost of internet bandwidth that you would need for people
to watch our videos from your server, you can bypass that and you
can just upload your videos to YouTube and let YouTube handle everything for you. But instead of directly paying YouTube like a
regular cloud provider, YouTube will get a share of the ad revenue generated by your videos. So another
question is, why would an individual or a company use cloud computing? Well as I just mentioned a major reason is cost. With
computing a person or company eliminates a lot of the expense of buying their own hardware and software, along with the building
maintenance and electricity
it takes to run their own data center. So it would be more cost
efficient to use a cloud instead. And another reason is reliability. Because when you hire a cloud, the cloud provider is responsible for
all of the data backup and disaster recovery. And if one of its data centers goes down, they will
also have several redundant sites as a backup which will ensure that there is no downtime. And another reason is scalability. Cloud
providers will offer a pay as you go method where you can pay for
only what you need. So whether you need to rent a few computers or
a lot, it doesn't matter. So if you only want to rent a small amount of computers to start out, you can do that. But as your business
expands, you have the option of instantly renting more computers to suit your needs
And if you don't need to rent as many computers, you can instantly scale back to renting only a few So who are the cloud providers
today? Well the major cloud providers today are Amazon
being the biggest of them all - taking about a third of the cloud
market share. In fact one of AWS biggest customers is Netflix. Netflix uses Amazon Web Services for nearly all of its computer and storage
needs including databases, videos transcoding, and so on. So instead of building its
own data center and spending hundreds of millions of dollars on hosting its own data, Netflix chose to outsource it to a cloud provider
which is Amazon. So a major advantage that Netflix has
of using a cloud is that they don't have to worry about downtime,
security, data backup, or the high
cost of building and maintaining their own data center. They can just
pay Amazon to do it for them so this takes a tremendous burden off of Netflix which allows them to focus on other things pertaining to
their business. Now there are three different types of cloud computing. There's
infrastructure as a service or. Platform as a service or and software as a service or. And these three vary in control and flexibility. So it's
up to the user to decide what suits their needs. So the first one is infrastructure as a service. Now, this type is basically where you're
portion. The cloud provider will manage the servers, storage, virtualization, and networking portion.
You on the other hand will still have control over the software portion. Such as the applications, data, the common person would
use would be online data backup services, such as drive and Carbonite that provide cloud storage. And the next one is called
platform as a service. the cloud provider to manage a portion of your business. But the cloud provider has more control.
A cloud provider not only manages the hardware such as servers, storage, and networking but is responsible for the applications and
the data. And finally, there's a software as a service or Now this is probably the most common cloud service by far. In this type, all the applications
are hosted by the cloud provider. There is no software to install on your computer and no hardware to manage. You just simply access
and run the application from your computer when you connect to the cloud service through the internet. So the cloud provider manages all the hardware.
software, networking, operating system, and storage. A good example of this is something that I use all the time, which is Google
Docs. Google Docs is a free online office suite that is accessed using a web browser. There is no additional software that needs to be installed
on your computer to use Google Docs. Everything is accessed and managed from your web browser.
All the generations, then, from Abraham until David were 14 generations; from David until the deportation to Babylon,+ 14 generations; from the deportation to Babylon until the Christ, 14 generations.
18 But this is how the birth of Jesus Christ took place. During the time his mother Mary was promised in marriage to Joseph,+ she was found to be pregnant by holy spirit+ before they were united. 19 However, because her husband Joseph was righteous and did not want to make her a public spectacle,* he intended to divorce her* secretly.+ 20 But after he had thought these things over, look! Jehovah’s angel appeared to him in a dream, saying: “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take your wife Mary home, for what has been conceived in her is by holy spirit.+ 21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to name him Jesus,+ for he will save his people from their sins.”+ 22 All of this actually came about to fulfill what was spoken by Jehovah through his prophet, saying: 23 “Look! The virgin will become pregnant and will give birth to a son, and they will name him Im·manʹu·el,”+ which means, when translated, “With Us Is God.”+
24 Then Joseph woke up from his sleep and did as the angel of Jehovah had directed him, and he took his wife home. 25 But he did not have sexual relations with her until she gave birth to a son,+ and he named him Jesus.+
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.
personal personnel ~~ personal personnel personal personnel ++ personal -- personnel "" personnel || personal}} person }} persoanl [[ personnel personal personal person personnel}}]]..,, (!)@*#*$&%`<|>":
Brother (to friends): "Hey sup!" hard slap on the back.
Sister (to friends): "Hey, How are you? How did you sleep?" don't listen to their friend's reply but instead immediately start gossiping.
Brother (a day after fight with friends): "Sup, buddy!"
Sister (a day after fight with friends): silence...
Boys and girls have different relationships. Girls are too complicated. Boys are not that bad. At least they are all content with their types of relationships.
Pork Egg Roll
Shrimp Egg Roll
Spring Roll
Vegetable Egg Roll
Fantail Shrimp
Fried Wonton
Crab Rangoon
Fried Chinese Donuts
French Fries
Fried Green Banana
Fried Sweet Banana
Roast Pork End
Honey Roast Pork
Steam Pork Dumpling
Fried Pork Dumplings
Steam Shrimp Dumplings
Fried Shrimp Dumplings
