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Hello my name is Barack Obama (President of United States) 1,000 years ago sorry I’m …

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Douglas Adams - Hitchhiker's Guide: Towels
A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini-raft down the slow heavy River Moth, and wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat.