For a start, I'm in pain the whole time. Something considerably more diverting than lumbago or irritable bowel: there's a constant burning agony, all over, so to speak (that's quite bad) punctuated by irregular bursts of incandescent or meta-agony, as if my entire being is hosting its own private Armageddon (that's really very bad). These nukes, these ... supernovae catch me unawares.