Life is like a roller coaster; it will go down sometimes, but it will eventually trail back up, and at some point, it will end. In order to enjoy the ride, don't think about how high or low you are; just let it all go, however, people like me tend to want to get off the ride. I just want to see how I will do that.
Life is tough. I get that. (single mom, 4 now grown sons) But it WILL get better. You talked about it "trailing back up". Focus on THAT, and know that there ARE people who care about you and would be devastated if you're not there anymore...