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Neil Gaiman
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Hello my name is Barack Obama (President of United States) 1,000 years ago sorry I’m …

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MandoPony - Purple
I've done some things in my life that you may think are crazy. A little different from the rest, I get my pleasure from the pain. I've got some ghosts who follow me, and you may think that's crazy, but in the night I know I feel alright. Well I see spirits all around me as I try to understand what makes me do the things I do to everyone around me. And I bet you never knew that I could have regrets for all the things that make you see red... But all I see is purple instead.

Scott Cawthon - New Improved Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Into Quote
Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay.

Jeffery Woods - Is Being Insane Really That Crazy?
No, It's not. In fact, why don't you try it? It's really quite fun once you get used to it. Everyone needs a little crazy in their life. Now... Go to sleep.