Blackadder
You really are as thick as clotted cream, that's been left out by some clot, and now the clots are so clotted, you couldn't unclot them with an electric de-clotter, aren't you, Baldrick?
Blackadder
I can not believe it! She drags me all the way from Billingsgate to Richmond to play about the weakest practical joke since Cardinal Wolsey got his nob out at Hampton Court and stood at the end of the passage pretending to be a door.
Blackadder
So let's recap. If I admit that I am in love - sorry, head over heels in love with Satan and all his little wizards then you will remove my testicles with a blunt instrument resembling some kind of gardening tool and roast them over a large fire. Whereas if I don't admit that I'm in love with Satan and all his little wizards, you will hold me upside down in a vat of warm marmalade. Oh, I see.
Blackadder
Right, good morning team. My name is Edmond Blackadder, and I'm the new minister in charge of religious genocide. Now, if you play straight with me you'll find me a considerate employer, but cross me and you'll soon discover that under this playful, boyish exterior beats the heart of a ruthless sadist maniac!