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Hello my name is Barack Obama (President of United States) 1,000 years ago sorry I’m …

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Mr. Van Redneck - DNA
My DNA is part my mother and my father. I never knew my mother. My father has said great things about her. She had blue eyes and a very big smile. The reason my father took care of me is because my mother was too unfit. She had broke her leg several months before giving birth to me and she had to have heart surgery the day after birth. She was a walking death machine and my father moved out and made a life for us that I will never forget.

Mr. Van Redneck - My life- "The RedNeck Tale,"
I was sitting in my log cabin, knitting a sweater for my 11-year old granddaughter, Lisa, when my youngest daughter and grandkid came busting in through the door, mortified that I had locked them out, and thankfully they had a key. My youngest daughter, Sue, said that she wanted hot cocoa badly and her daughter, Hanna, needed a place to play since all her friends were on vacation with Ms. Hubbared, their teacher.

Mr. Van Redneck - My life- "The Van Redneck Story,"
My life has always been a cup of tea; until my maid came and crushed the cup to bits and told me I was a sore loser. I couldn't believe my ears; my maid was talking to me like this; this is a sham; otherwise, it would not be life. My maid also said that I stole $20 from her and I was a BUTCH. I was mortified and ashamed all at the same time. I didn't steal 20 dollars from her; and she had no right to be calling me a BUTCH. How rude?