John Dies at the End - David Wong (aka Jason Pargin)
"We've all had those dreams, mon. You dream you're on a game show, on TV wearin' nothing but a jockstrap. At the exact moment the game show buzzer goes off to tell you you've lost, the telephone buzzes in real life. A call your mind couldn't have known was coming. You see, time is an ocean, not a garden hose. Space is a puff of smoke, a wisp of cloud. Your mind is a flying cornsnake, hovering through the-" "- Whatever. Whatever." I turned away, shaking my head, wanting to punch him.
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