Goodbye Road - Jungsh00ked1028

This quote נוסף על ידי mollohan_hannah
His hair was so damn blue that he must have dyed it. His smile was so bright and... perfect. He had no idea he had fallen for that smile the first day he saw it, but he wish he saw it sooner. His body has curves in the most beautiful and majestic ways, his shoulders lean and broad, his waist tiny and easy to grasp, while his thighs were thick and easy to see how muscular they were through the tight skinny jeans that hugged him so nicely.

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3.3 out of 5 based on 4 ratings.

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mollohan_hannah 5 שנים, 9 חודשים לפני
huh uh. it’s a beautiful story tho. very sad
weesin 5 שנים, 9 חודשים לפני
oh....I thought that this was one of the stories that you've been working on
mollohan_hannah 5 שנים, 9 חודשים לפני
lol Its not my story I just typed what I saw. It's very sad in the end
weesin 5 שנים, 9 חודשים לפני
much better @mollahan_hannah

this looks like it could be an interesting story. The only issue I see is that you seem to switch between past and present tense here. For example you say "his hair WAS so damn blue" (past tense) and then you say "his body HAS curves" (present tense)

Also - you say "but he wish he saw it sooner". I believe you meant to type "but he WISHED he saw it sooner"

בדוק את מיומנויותיך, תקודד במהירות של מבחן הקלדה.

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