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Someone you will never meet
I'm just procrastinating on my essay that is due in 2 days qwq

Myself
uhhh what

J.K. Rowling
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Wikipedia
Dude as I was typing this quote I was changing my posture and carpal tunnel …

Made Up On The Spot
Riddled with errors.

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Jack Handey
It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something.